AttractAnything! (The Blog)

No matter who you are or where you live, you’ve likely got someone in your life who is a real “downer.” You know the kind of person I mean; whenever you’ve been around them your self esteem seems lower–your attitude less optimistic. You feel somehow less powerful and confident just by spending time with them.

I call these people “energy vampires,” because they can really suck the life out of you if you’re not careful. They always seem to talk about problems, drama, disease and the crappy state of the world in general.

You see, optimists see the glass as half-full and pessimists see the glass as half-empty. But “energy vampires” see the glass as completely empty and shattered in a million pieces on the floor! To make matters worse, they’re not usually satisfied until they’ve managed to infect you with their negative state of mind. Yikes!

I’ll realize that I talk (and write) about this subject a lot. The reason is, as a Law of Attraction coach, I spend more time helping people deal with the “energy vampires” in their life than just about anything else. So I know from experience how important it is to get this right. Getting it wrong can damage your self esteem and set you up for failure.

Obviously, the best way to deal with an energy sucker is NOT to deal with them at all-avoid them completely. But what do you do when the vampire in question is a family member or co-worker? You can’t realistically just cut them out of your life (at least not easily!).

The solution in this case requires an understanding of what is actually going on with the energy vampire. Primarily, why they are doing what they do.

It is tempting to say that these people are just jerks and leave it at that, but the truth is, energy vampires behave the way they do for a reason. They are dealing with a severely damaged sense of “self” that leaves them constantly feeling like a victim.

They have an obsessive need to bring others down to their level-to bring you into a “victim” status too. Think about it-if they feel like a victim and you don’t, it only makes them feel worse about themselves.

Instead, they need you to reinforce their damaged view of life, so they can feel slightly better about themselves. It may be cliché, but it’s still true: misery really does love company.

The problem is, this victim attitude is the absolute worst state of mind to be in if you intend to counsciously use the Law of Attraction to design your life. The Law of Attraction is all about responsibility, about accepting your role in creating your life, NOT thinking that life is something that “happens to you” (the victim mentality).

So the best way to deal with an energy vampire (if you must) is to limit you involvement as much as possible-keep all interactions brief and business-like. Understand that they are very insecure inside and are easily threatened, so the less you say to them, the better.

And whatever you do, DON’T argue with them or try to persuade them to change their point of view. This will only kick their insecurity into high gear, and they will redouble their efforts to convert you to their way of thinking!

Likewise, don’t waste your time trying to “fix them. This is a recipe for disaster, because you will wind up drained of all your energy and they’ll be none the wiser. I’m not trying to be pessimistic; people can change, even the energy vampires of the world. But they will change when they are ready to, of their own volition, not because of anything you or I do.

Jon Mercer, MA
www.attractanything.com

Filed under: Positive Thinking