AttractAnything! (The Blog) » Positive Thinking

“Stronger Better Happier” Print Version Out Now! Kindle Version Debuts in Amazon Top 50!

Jon — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 16:50:27 +0000

In it’s first 48 hours of release, the kindle version of “Stronger Better Happier” broke the Amazon Self Help Top 50 Chart! Now the print version is debuting on Amazon and elsewhere, and I have high hopes that it will do even better.

‘Stronger Better Happier ‘is a unique hybrid of inspiration and practical exercises to radically change your mindset, do away with limiting, anxious beliefs and insecurities, and inspire you to reach higher, achieve more and live better. In other words, a very PRACTICAL self-help book.

The print version of “Stronger” is now available on Amazon. Let me know what you think by rating and reviewing Stronger Better Happier! on Amazon.com.

Thanks again for your support!
Jon

Follow Jon on FaceBook & Twitter!

Jon’s New Book, “Stronger Better Happier” Finally Hits the Shelves!

Jon — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 19:44:21 +0000

It’s been a long time coming, and there have been a few delays along the way; but today I’m proud to announce that my first book, “Stronger Better Happier!” finally has been released (cue the balloons and party music. Whoo Hoo!).

“Stronger Better Happier” is a different kind of self-help book — equal parts inspirational/motivational and practical guide, complete with some of the coolest (and a few of the weirdest!) NLP and behavioral techniques and exercises I’ve discovered over years of coaching. The goal was to create the kind of resource I wish I would have had when I began this journey into personal development.

I want to express my sincere gratitude today, to everyone who supported and encouraged me to write (and eventually finish ) ‘Stronger Better Happier.’ Your positive spirit and unwavering support have made this book possible, and are greatly appreciated.

The First edition of “Stronger” to be released is the Amazon Kindle version. But you DON’T need a Kindle to read it. The Kindle app is available for Mac/PC, Android phones, iPhones, iPods, iPads and other devices. Personally, I’ve been using the Kindle apps on both my iPad and Nexus One (Android) phone, both of which work flawlessly, and even have advanced controls to minimize back-lighting and glare. I especially recommend the iPad version, which scrolls super smooth and looks fantastic.

You can also try a free sample of the book buy clicking the “send sample” button on the right-side of the Amazon sales page. And of course, you can rate and leave a review as well (something I would greatly appreciate!).

A print version of “Stronger” is on the way too (for those who prefer the touch and smell of a real paper and ink). It should be available within the next few weeks on Amazon.com and many of the biggest distributors. I’ll keep you posted.

Thank you once again for your amazing support and well wishes. And a very special thank you to Jane, Matt, Brittany and Julia (Juju) for their artful advice, contributions, assistance and friendship.

And of course, I’d love to know what YOU think about the book. You can comment on this post, or contact me via Facebook or twitter (links below), or rate and review Stronger Better Happier! on Amazon.com.

To your continued abundance, peace and prosperity!
Jon

Follow Jon on FaceBook & Twitter!

NLP Strategies: It’s Good to be “Flaky” Sometimes

Jon — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 18:04:42 +0000

Bad days: we all have them. I had one yesterday — could barely drag myself out of bed. :p

But we don’t have to stay in that state of mind when we have a bad day. We can change the direction of our thoughts just by deciding to look at things differently. Only trouble is, most of us find it difficult to suddenly change our perspective, because on a deeper level, we crave consistency.

One of the worst insults you can call someone is “flaky.” It means that their behavior and/or attitude is inconsistent. This puts us under a lot of social pressure to be consistent at all times, which is kind of boring, huh?

But we’re also under internal pressure to remain consistent. The brain values consistency above almost all else. It attempts to keep you behaving, thinking, and believing things that are consistent with what you did, thought and believed yesterday, last week and even 10 years ago. It’s a type of safety mechanism, and it’s mostly a good thing. You wouldn’t want to have an inconsistent heartbeat, eh?

This need for consistency is even good when it comes to how we think and behave — sometimes. For example, whatever you’ve been thinking and doing in the past has kept you alive up til now, so evolutionarily speaking, it couldn’t have been too bad, nowhatImean?

Consistency only becomes a problem when we’re trying to change of lives. This requires us to think, believe and do things differently. We have to go against our biological impulse to remain consistent, and that’s why people often find if difficult to change. That’s also why I believe one of the best ways to change is to not actually try to change at all. Seriously! And that’s where really cool techniques like NLP come in handy.

NLP techniques encourage change through the power of suggestion and unconscious association. They operate on a deeper level, that prevents you from constantly fighting against your natural impulse to maintain consistency. The techniques tend to affect the unconscious much more than the conscious, so there is very little “cognitive backlash.” You simply begin “feeling” differently, though you may not even know why.

By “reprogramming” yourself at an unconscious level, you can change unhelpful beliefs, perceptions and most importantly, your self-image — all without struggling. When done right, it feels like a natural evolution or transformation, with no internal conflict whatsoever.

A good example of these NLP techniques can be found at our sister site: NLPundercurrents.com. These unique audio sessions use several different techniques in a unique blend of technologies designed to have maximum impact on your unconscious, and facilitate change in a very natural, relaxed way.

Get more information and try some free demo sessions free at NLPundercurrents.com.

~Jon
Follow Jon on FaceBook here

Blind Spots

Jon — Sat, 28 May 2011 21:12:14 +0000

Ever make a mistake? Sure you have. We all make mistakes. We forget things, make bad choices, misjudge people. To err is human.

Errors of judgment are especially common. I’ve made my fair share, and I’ll bet you have too. But I sometimes think the biggest errors of judgment are in how we judge ourselves.

Self image assessment errors are EXTREMELY common. And just so we’re clear, they are common for everyone, no matter how smart, self-aware or educated you may be. We can’t help but lack awareness when it comes to understanding ourselves. It’s like a blind spot. We can’t see the forest for the trees.

Still, it’s human nature to try to understand yourself and your place in the world, so we routinely judge ourselves in all kinds of ways. We evaluate our strength’s, weaknesses, talent, personality, style, character, you-name-it. The only trouble with all this self-judging we’re doing is that we’re just not very good at it. Seriously.

When we attempt to look at ourselves, to evaluate our qualities and traits, we face a huge disadvantage. We have blind spots everywhere and often wind up with a very skewed, inaccurate view of who we are — a view our closest friends and family might not even recognize.

No matter how hard you try, you just can’t “see” yourself like others see you, with an outside, unbiased perspective. Your perspective will always be “inside” and heavily biased.

But if you know you have these blind spots in your self-image — and you certainly do — it can actually work to your advantage, especially if you have confidence problems or are unhappy with some aspect of your personality. Here’s a simple exercise which uses NLP language patterns to undermine negative beliefs you may have about yourself. Those with self-esteem issues are especially encouraged to use this technique.

If you begin to feel bad about some aspect of your personality or “who you are,” think about the trait or characteristic while asking yourself, “what if this isn’t true at all?” Make sure you don’t state that it’s not true — just ask the question. What if?

For example, a friend once told me that she was terrible at math, even though she hadn’t been in a math class in 20 years. I suggested that she began asking herself “what if that isn’t true? What if I’m actually very good at math? What if…?”

Notice I wasn’t encouraging her to lie, but simply ask a few questions. The fact is, it’s entirely possible that she IS good at math. Human beings are terrible at self assessment, and “sensitive” people are probably the worst at this — they often judge themselves MUCH too hard when trying to determine their strengths and weaknesses.

People with self-confidence issues often have huge blind spots too. But many of my clients with confidence issues have created better self-images by simply becoming more skeptical about their self assessment and learning to ask “what if” questions about previously held beliefs.

If you can be humble enough to admit you are human and make mistakes, you can begin to question your negative self-beliefs — and change them. Big positive changes often begin with just two simple words. “What if?”
~Jon
Follow Jon on FaceBook here

Perspective: The Difference that Makes the Difference

Jon — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 02:13:42 +0000

What’s the difference between success and failure? Between happiness and misery? Self-esteem and insecurity?

Perspective.

Perspective is how you see the world and yourself; what it all means to you. In a sense, our perspective is like our personal story — a narrative that tells us who we are (or at least, who we think we are).

Here’s an example: “Bob,” is naturally a quiet, introspective guy. “Stephen.” also tends to be the sensitive, quiet type. In fact, the two have very similar personalities. But there is a big difference in their perspectives: Bob’s inner narrative tells him that his quiet, introspective personality is an undesirable thing that ruins his chances of succeeding in life, love, business, etc.

Stephen, on the other hand, tells himself a very different story. He sees himself as the strong silent type, kind of like the wise and worldly hero in many old movies.

Bob’s inner narrative is empowering to him, he sees himself having great value EXACTLY as he is. Whereas Steven sees himself in the classic victim role, as someone who is unworthy of success, or even happiness. But remember, the two men have virtually identical personality traits.

Who you are is not as important as who you THINK you are.

It’s important to realize that neither Bob or Stephen is correct in their perspective. Perspective is subjective; there is no black-and-white way to judge it. I point this out because many people are afraid to change their perspective about who they are — they are afraid to even consider that maybe, just maybe, the way they have always seen themselves is incorrect.

It’s impossible to see ourselves as we “really are.” The most well-adjusted person among us still has a self image that is patched together from many different influences, experiences and opinions.

Research shows, for example, that most of us see ourselves very differently than our friends and family members see us. So when you get right down to it, none of us are who we think we are — at least not entirely. Understanding that can make it easier to change your perspective, to see yourself and your situation in a more useful way. After all, if you can’t see yourself accurately (and you most certainly can’t), you might as well see yourself in a way that is HELPFUL to you,

When you change your perspective, you change EVERYTHING. If you’re trying to do something, be something or accomplish something in life and you keep running into obstacles, it’s a clear sign that you need to change your perspective. Change the inside first — the outside will follow.

We can only change our circumstances by first changing our inner narrative. When we’re not getting good results, it’s usually because our inner story, our perspective, is not compatible with the good results we want — we can’t attract those results until our “inner story” matches them.

This is why I say that change happens from the “inside out.” To be successful and prosperous, for example, you need to have an inner narrative that supports this. A perspective that is in harmony with what you want.

See yourself as a successful, wealthy, valuable person, and the world around you will begin to mirror this perspective. As you see it on the inside, it will become on the outside.

We are all Creatures of Habit…

Jon — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 06:41:02 +0000

There are things I “believe.” There are things I “suspect.” And then there are things that I “know.” I want to tell you one of those right now:

We are creatures of habit, and in a very real way, our habits dictate what our life will be.

The act of changing your life is nothing more than changing your habits. So how do you do that? Easy. One step at at a time.

The WORST way to try to change any habit is to struggle. The BEST way is to make a plan to begin very gradually adding something NEW into your life–and be consistent. It’s not enough to just want to get rid of some aspect of your personality, an old habit like limiting beliefs for example; you must also add a NEW habit to takes it’s place.

Nature abhors a vacuum. Trying to eliminate something from your life only works well when you replace it with something else. So adding a new habit is the most powerful thing you can do to overcome an old one. It is a pro-active step, and it puts YOU in charge of your life and your future.

For example, if you have limiting beliefs about money and your ability to create wealth, you can change this by making a plan, and starting some new habits like repeating pro-wealth affirmations and writing a gratitude list daily.

If you do this for 3-4 weeks, it will become a new habit; a habit you can expand on. Then those negative beliefs (just habits) will begin to have some serious competition. After a while, you can add more new habits, like visualizing yourself living the life you want every day–and then twice a day, three times, four times…

You can start as small as you like. As long as you Do NOT QUIT and you keep slowly expanding, you WILL get there. In a few months your mental habits will be very different from what they are today, and you will attract very different (and better) results.

The law if attraction is a simple idea: what you think about matters and has an impact on your life. You can change what you think about by gradually developing new thought habits that replace the old ones. When you begin to fill up your days with positive actions and thoughts, soon there will be no room left on there for the negative, the unwanted, and the un-useful.

Start today, start now. Add one new positive habit this week. And then another next week, etc. Before you know it, things begin to snowball into a major life change and you’re attracting more and more of the life you want. The life you deserve.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Jon

PS: If you need some help and motivation to break out of a rut, check out Getting Unstuck. That’s exactly what it is for.

Are You Addicted To (Artificial) Drama?

Jon — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:45:02 +0000

Everyone who works with the law of attraction realizes that it’s important to stay focused on what you want and not waste your energy on things you don’t want. Of course, this isn’t just a law of attraction idea; it’s common sense. After all, why would you give your energy and attention to things you don’t want? It’s like eating at a restaurant every day where you hate the food. You keep going back for more and giving them your energy (time, money), but you get nothing enjoyable out of it.

I’m certainly not the first law of attraction coach to observe that people LOVE to focus on things they don’t want sometimes. And I’m not immune to it either. I sometimes struggle to turn off television shows or films about subjects I definitely do not want in my experience. There seems to be a part of me (maybe a part of everyone?) that craves having a little bit of drama and conflict. The real question is, is this drama addiction human nature, or just a bad habit?

I don’t have a definitive answer to that question; but I do know one thing: there is enough drama and conflict in life already, without us creating more by focusing on “artificial drama” (television, etc.).

Conflict, drama, confusion and heartbreak are all part of the human experience. I truly doubt anyone could live a life completely free of these things (or should). But that DOES NOT mean we should go around looking for them! This is how I interpret the law of attraction concept of not focusing on things you don’t want. It’s basically saying, don’t go looking for trouble. haha

Now Here’s Where It Gets Tricky…

The main concept of the law of attraction seems so simple a child could understand it: focus on positive things you WANT, and don’t give attention or energy to negative things you DON’T want. But in order to focus on things that are positive, you have to first figure out what is positive TO YOU. A very positive and happy experience for one person can be an absolute nightmare for another. Here’s an example:

I have a close friend who always e-mails or texts calling me s**thead, d-bag, or worse. Of course, I do the same thing back to him, and we’ve had this playful exchange of obscenities going on for more than 10 years now. Is it juvenile and silly? Of course! But it’s our male bonding ritual, our way of staying connected with each other. Being typical males, neither of us is entirely comfortable showing affection for the other, so the obscenities have become a kind of code for expressing these positive feelings.

The point is, some people would find these comments offensive and negative, but for me it’s always a very positive experience because of WHAT IT MEANS TO ME.

Likewise, what feels positive and uplifting to you might feel negative and depressing to me. So there is no universal standard for “positivity.” Even emotions like gratitude that feel very positive to most people can feel negative to some. One person e-mailed me recently and said making gratitude lists and thinking about gratitude made her feel fearful and depressed. My response was basically, “then don’t do them.”

If it Doesn’t Feel Good to You, Its Not Good for You…

Anything that makes you feel fearful or negative is simply not working for you. When you encounter experiences, people and things that bring on these emotions, you really only have two choices: continue to allow them to make you feel fearful and negative, or do a 180 and walk in the other direction. Even if it’s a person place or thing that everybody else loves. Your job is simply to focus on what feels good to YOU. Do that, and everything else will take care of itself.

A Reader Asks, “Why is a Positive Attitude so Important?”

Jon — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 01:46:20 +0000

I received a Tweet yesterday asking two good questions: “why is a positive attitude so important,” and “isn’t the law of attraction just denial?”

So lets start with why I think a positive mindset is so critical: Encouragement and motivation help us to see possibilities where we once saw walls. Every battlefield commander or football coach understands the importance of “rallying the troops” because it changes their mindset. And when you change your mindset you are capable of different things.

My high school football coach would curse and scream at halftime and motivate us that we could do it. And his speeches would have a big effect sometimes and change the outcome of the game.

How is that possible? That someone’s words could change the results other people get on a football field?

A positive mindset can mean the difference between success and failure. Attitude has been know to win unwinnable wars many times (and football games).

When you learn to focus your mind on the BEST things, the things you want, and ignore the other, you will naturally begin to DO different things, and that leads to getting different results.

This is why a positive mindset about money is important. You need to believe that you deserve it and there is plenty to go around for everyone (this applies to other things too!). That belief affects what you do and the choices you make, it also affects how other people see you.

Example: I just hired a guy to help out with some new web projects because I could “sense” a very positive and prosperous vibe on him. He carried himself like someone who believed he would succeed. ALL employers are attracted to that (so are friends, potential dates, etc).

But if he had had a lack-based vibe I honestly don’t think he would’ve got the job. Attitude is so important in school, business, everything.

The law of attraction isn’t denial — among other things, it’s a tool to help us keep a positive attitude and focus on the best in life and ourselves. And doing this makes us capable of achieving more — much, much more!

The Fire Breathing Introvert Official Launch (watch the video)

Jon — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:25:12 +0000

The Fire Breathing Introvert, our all new, all-introvert oriented coaching series is now officially live. Watch the video on the homepage to learn more about what the FBI series (as I call it) can offer you! I think you’ll be impressed: www.firebreathingintrovert.com

(or you can watch the video on YouTube here: Jon Explains the Fire Breathing Introvert Philosophy )

AND…The FBI Coaching series marks the very first time I’ve demonstrated ‘The Hemisphere Techniques” to the public. The Hemisphere techniques are a series of physical NLP ‘tricks’ for making very rapid changes in self-esteem, socializing. These little beauties have been very well received by my coaching clients. Now you can try them too. Check out @ www.firebreathingintrovert.com

And before I forget, Follow Me on Twitter! Come’on, join the conversation already! What’s the matter with ya!

Take care!
Jon

Jon Mercer
www.attractanything.com
Managing Director, Youniverse LLC

Do You Have to Keep a Positive State of Mind to use the Law of Attraction?

Jon — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:34:47 +0000

Everyone who has studied the law of attraction is aware of the importance of keeping a positive state of mind.

One of the most basic concepts of the law of attraction is that your state of mind has a “magnetic” property to it (for lack of a better word), and that you attract people, circumstances, and abundance (or lack) according to your your dominant mindset. If your mindset is primarily positive, and you focus on abundance, prosperity, good health, and other positive things, the law of attraction says you will tend to attract positive circumstances. But on the other hand, if your mindset is primarily one of lack and limitation, you will tend to attract these unwanted things as well.

In other words, the law of attraction is an honest broker — it does not judge your request; it simply gives you MORE of what you are already resonating. With this in mind, I want to address a question that I’ve received from many of my personal coaching clients: “Does this mean that we have to stay in a carefree, happy, Pollyanna-like state of mind 24/7 in order to attract good things?

My answer to this is simple: no.

We are ALL imperfect human beings, and it is not necessary (or even desirable) to hold yourself to a higher standard than that. Because we are fallible human beings, we don’t always live up to our best ideals. This is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and people who stress too much about trying to attain perfection in their state of mind can often drive themselves a little “loopy” in the process. It’s important to recognize that you’re only human, and do your best to maintain a state of mind that will attract what you want in your life — but you must also balance this with an understanding and acceptance of your own fallible nature as a human being.

It’s okay not to be perfect at this stuff — it really is. The law of attraction is not a harsh, unforgiving “boss,” watching over your shoulder 24/7, and just waiting for an opportunity to bring you down. Here’s an example: because “like attracts like,” it is not a good idea to go through your life being angry. This will tend to attract ill will and angry circumstances into your experience — something I’m sure you do not want.

However… that does not mean that it is NEVER appropriate to be angry, and in certain situations I believe it can actually be useful. I had a coaching client last year (let’s call him “Jim”) who was feeling horribly depressed, and had lost all self-esteem because of a series of devastating rejections and betrayals in his life. Because he was a keen law of attraction follower, he tried his best to never get angry or upset about what had happened. Which seems like a reasonable thing to do because after all, he didn’t want to attract more angry circumstances and people into his life, did he?

But because he had “swallowed” his anger about these betrayals and rejections and refused to feel at any outrage, his state of mind became poisoned with self-pity, and his self esteem and confidence suffered, till at last he sank into a state of depression, with a distorted, negative self-image. All because he had refused to mentally “fight back” against the outrageous behavior he had been unfortunate enough to encounter.

His situation reminded me of an important concept I learned as a freshman psychology student at University: “anger is more useful than despair.”

While it is certainly true that anger is not an ideal state of mind to attract anything worthwhile into your life, it is EQUALLY true that anger is far more useful and productive to your state of mind than despair and depression. In fact, depression is actually anger turned inward (on the “self”), and it poisons the mindset in lots of ways, ruining otherwise healthy self-esteem. And depression is especially devastating — it is a feeling of hopelessness or victimization, and in my opinion, is the lowest emotional state a human being can resonate.

Anger on the other hand, while not ideal, is certainly a “higher” emotion than depression or hopelessness — much higher in fact. It is possible to accomplish a great deal in your life by acting out of anger, but you’ll get nowhere by acting out of hopelessness, depression or despair. In “Jim’s” case I encouraged him to go ahead and be outraged about the experiences he had dealt with and work through it. In fact, I counseled him to use that outrage and that anger as a catalyst to make big changes in his life, and to pursue things he had wanted in his life for years, but felt too “tore down” to take effective action.

I’m happy to report that “Jim” is doing a lot better these days. And yes, he did go through a stage of feeling quite angry. But it was a step up from the emotions of despair and depression that had lingered within him for so long; so in Jim’s case (and yours and mine), anger was definitely more useful than despair.

In time, of course, Jim moved beyond the anger, raising his vibration in a way that attracted better and better things into his life. But he was only able to get there by working through the anger, and not trying to deny it or “go around it.”

All of us who use the law of attraction want to keep a happy, positive, abundant and loving state of mind, because we know this will attract more of these positive things into our life. But we must never forget that we are all human beings, not computers! We are inperfect by nature, and that is absolutely OK. Keeping a positive state of mind, and using the law of attraction effectively is not a black-and-white issue. It’s about going after those better feelings, pursuing those thoughts of abundance, peace and happiness — and accepting our human fallibility when we sometimes don’t reach them. It is the effort that makes all the difference.